PLAINTIFF LAWYER: WHY DID YOU FILE THE DAUBERT?
DEFENSE LAWYER: THE DAUBERT WILL SET MY CLIENT FREE.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: THE DAUBERT WILL COST YOUR CLIENT A LOT OF MONEY WHICH COULD COMPENSATE YOUR VICTIMS.
DEFENSE LAWYER: THE DAUBERT WILL BAR YOUR EXPERTS AND GIVE US THE SUMMARY JUDGMENT.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: YOU WILL LOSE THE DAUBERT.
DEFENSE LAWYER: NO; WE WILL WIN THE DAUBERT BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE THE BRADFORD HILL.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: THE BRADFORD HILL ARE NINE THINGS. WHICH ONE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DEFENSE LAWYER: I AM TALKING ABOUT ALL NINE.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: NO, WE HAVE THE BRADFORD HILL LOCKED UP.
DEFENSE LAWYER: BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY OF THE NINE.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: THE BRADFORD HILL SAYS NONE OF THE NINE IS NECESSARY; THEREFORE WE HAVE ALL SATISFIED.
DEFENSE LAWYER: BUT WAIT; YOU DO NOT EVEN GET TO THE BRADFORD HILL. YOUR P-VALUE IS TOO LOW.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: I AM THE PLAINTIFF LAWYER. I CANNOT BE TOO RICH, TOO POWERFUL, OR HAVE TOO HIGH A P-VALUE.
DEFENSE LAWYER: NO; YOU NEED TO SHOW STATISTICAL SIGNIFICANCE BEFORE YOU GET TO THE BRADFORD HILL.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: STATISTICAL SIGNIFICANCE IS NOT A LITMUS TEST; SO I HAVE THAT SATISFIED AS WELL.
DEFENSE LAWYER: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
PLAINTIFF LAWYER: YOU NEED TO KEEP UP WITH THE CASE LAW. LET’S GO PICK A JURY.
